Atelophobia

The fear of imperfection.

I try so hard to be different without being the same. But I feel like its pointless. I see the same faces all the time but they're really not the same at all. I've been trying to be myself that I got caught up being someone else. I'm not sure who I am anymore...I lost myself in the crowd that I tried so hard to drag myself away from. Who am I? I thought I found myself when I found you, but it turns out I've been being who you wanted me to be. I changed my look and my sense of thought. I gave up friends and changed my ways. I changed so much all for you. Anymore am I being me or who you want me to be? Was I ever really enough for you...is that why you made me change the way I was? That's all I ever wanted was to be yours, and I would do anything to make it true...even change the person I wanted to be. I was scared you wouldn't love me...i was worried you would leave. But am i truly happy now? How can i be happy with us when im not even happy with me...maybe you were right, maybe we need a break...maybe we need sometime. I can't be in love with someone who can't be in love with me...all i wanted to be was perfect, i was so scared to be imperfect that i lost who i was...now i have no clue....so im back to being alone...forgotten...lost...imperfect once again